Mother's Day

Today is Mother’s Day! So much to celebrate! - like heartburn, cramps, this new heat rash I got on my boobs, swollen feet….I kid I kid, I will refrain from complaining in this post….ok, no promises but I will try very hard.

I have so many wonderful Mother’s in my life. Starting with my own of course. Anyone that has met my Mom totally agrees – she rocks! And my sister is now in the running for Mom of the year. Just this week she made heart shaped sandwiches for the boys just because and hand made Mother’s day cards for all the boys on Lukas’ T-Ball team to give their Mommies. She totally rocks too. Plus I have so many great Mommy friends: Amy, Jill, Darlene, etc etc…and Aunts and cousins and co-worker moms. It goes on and on.

And next year at this time I will be a Mom (to someone other than Jersey Girl), and hopefully half as good of one as these great Moms in my life. There are many things I hope to do for my daughter that make her think I am a great Mom too.

I want to eat ice cream until our heads turn too cold to stand
And read you bedtimes stories that take place in a faraway land.

I want to let you run in sprinklers in the middle of July
And take you to the beach to watch all the kites fly.

I want you to believe in Santa, in magic and in big dreams
And teach to how to wish in fountains, on stars and moon beams.

I want to let you color outside the lines and tell you that it’s art
And tell you everyday that you are beautiful, caring and smart.

I want to help to make Valentine’s cards for your first class in school
And teach you to always be kind even when other kids are cruel.

I want to be there to chase away any monsters hiding under your bed
And listen when you talk, to truly hear each word that is said.

I want to be your best friend, the one that never lets you down
Be your security blanket, your protector or your silly little clown.

I want you to know when your here how much I will always love you
And I want you to know right now, that in fact … I already do.

Pregnancy is not very fun today

Like a little kid stuck in the back seat of a car, all I want to know is “Are we there yet?”.
I had a pregnancy breakdown last night. And I thought there is just no way I can do this another 3 ½ months. No friggin’ way.

The night before last I had a horrible nights sleep – tossed and turned all night and kept waking up hot and sweaty. And now there are of course 2 new things that have, of recent, joined the fight against me: leg cramps and heartburn.

My daughter the little flame thrower – is lighting my chest up at a whole new level these days. They say heartburn means she will have a lot of hair. Well, if that is the case I am afraid I may be giving birth to King Kong. To combat this heartburn I refer to my list of “ok to take medication” that I got from Dr. Chu. Only thing I saw on there that was in my cupboard was Tums. And let me tell you when I wasn’t pregnant and had a tummy ache those suckers would work wonders….Now? well now they do absolutely nothing for the raging inferno in my body.

So back to the list. List says (and friend Jill recommends) Gaviscon.

Off to the store. Gaviscon to the rescue…well at least the first couple of times. Gaviscon works much much better than Tums. BUT still doesn’t relieve my problem. I can’t sleep, with this heartburn. So I prop all my pillows up, I chew gum, I sip water, I don’t eat spicy or late at night….I can’t get it to go away. And therefore I can’t sleep. And it’s not only at night it’s during the day too. Yay.

Along with HFH (heartburn from hell) I’ve started getting leg cramps. So just in case I do by the grace of God fall asleep for a couple hours I will surely be woken up by leg cramps. The kind that feel like pitbull has gotten a hold of my calf and wants to twist the muscles until they snap. Only way to make them go away? – jump out of bed and stretch out my leg. However, with the growing belly there is no more “jumping” in or out of bed these days. More like a steady wiggle side to side until I get enough momentum to roll over. FUN… not.

Back to last night…

After I had been dealing with no sleep and heartburn all day and night I just wanted to relax. And then I started feeling itchy. Really itchy. Wanted to find a tall oak tree to scrape my back on, itchy. I couldn’t relieve the itch, I tried a bath and lotion, making Jason scratch me etc… Nothing.

I know, I know, heartburn, leg cramps, itchiness maybe not sound like that big of a deal. But when you combined it with working all day, overall lack of sleep and pregnancy hormones it’s was just enough to push me over the edge. I stood in the bathroom and cried. Snot running down my face my husband asks me what’s wrong…and all I can say is “pregnancy is not very fun today”.

p.s. pic is of us in a happier moment. 6 months.

4D ultrasound

I have some awesome friends that are thoughtful enough to think of my little growing family when they hear of things we may like. 2 of my good friends Aimee and Stephanie referred me to a company called Medison. This company essentially created what is known as the 4D ultrasound. They have a location of Knott right by Moms house where they train technicians to use their machines. So they need models, and who wouldn’t want to be a model and see their baby in 4D for free right?! Needless to say I signed us up and we got called to come in Thursday the 15th.

Jason got the time off to come with and Giselle was kicking me all afternoon (in anticipation of her big photo shoot I assume). Well when we finally got into the room there were about 25 techs and 25 pregnant women between 20-24 weeks excited to see their little ones.

Our tech Barb started our scan and showed us the heart and spine. As grateful as I am that Giselle has a strong heart and spine I was anxious to see her face. And of course what happened? – Giselle fell asleep…head down. We waited, and waited hoping she would wake up. She didn’t. I rolled on my side hoping she’d re-adjust, she didn’t. I went for a walk hoping she’d wake up, she didn’t. I ate some candy hoping the sugar would give her some energy, it didn’t. She MUST get this from her Dad who can sleep anywhere at anytime. There could very well be a tornado that picked Jason up and spun him around and as long as he was on his bed he would sleep through the whole thing.

Jason and I just listened to all the moms to be around us “Ooooh, look at her sucking her thumb” and the technicians “You see his mouth opening to practice swallowing?”. There were people seeing eyes, lips, tiny hands grabbing tiny feet, and all kinds of fun stuff. And we just stared at the back of Giselle’s head. I decided it kind of felt like all the kids on the soccer team were running around kicking the ball and our kid stared up at the sky picking her nose while they ran around her. Whatcha gona do right? I’m sure she was still the cutest one there 

Finally I had a genius idea! Jason had a Rockstar energy drink in the car, I snuck out and took a few sips (please don’t report me to child protective services, I just had a few sips I swear). Good news: little Giselle finally flipped over! Bad news: Barb our tech sucked.

Granted Barb was very nice, but she did not get the contrast dialed in and wasn’t able to master zooming in on things so the pictures we got kind of suck. BUT we got to see her. And she definitely pouts already (no idea where she gets that from!). Here is our little princess at 23 weeks <3

That Girl & This Girl

That girl up there is wild
This girl is tame

That girl’s tummy is flat
This girl’s tummy is round

That girl used to stumble home at 1, 2, sometimes 3 am
This girl stumbles to the bathroom at 1, 2, and 3 am

That girl loved buying little dresses at Bebe
This girl loves buying little dresses for baby

That girl danced the night away
This girl feels dancing in her tummy

That girl was carefree
This girl worries

That girl wore heels everyday
This girl wears flats

That girl had many fair-weather friends
This girl keeps only loyal and caring people close

That girl needed her family
This girl still does

That girl had a wonderful guy in her life
This girl still has him

That girl laughed often
This girl laughs just as much

That girl had big dreams
This girls dreams are coming true

This girl is glad That girl was around,but is happy where she is.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ...

Sleep, sweet sweet slumber oh how I miss thee. My mom told me that she thinks God prepares you for the baby by not being able to sleep while you’re pregnant – she may be right on with this one.

Ask my family, sleep is one thing I always had perfected. I would come home after school and take a nap even during high school, and as a young child even would put myself to bed - no fighting Mom for 30 more minutes here. Even on family holidays I would take a nap right on grandma’s couch while everyone chatted and ate around me. I love sleep. And now I MISS sleep.

I have always been a back sleeper, in fact I have a certain way I sleep (3 pillows and my stuffed bunny). I’d go to sleep in that position and wake up in virtually the same exact spot. Perfection.

Now I toss and I turn, and I toss some more. I am up and I am down more times than my mood swings these days. Doctors say to sleep on your left side, which would be fine if I had a removable arm. If I could somehow take off my left arm to prevent it from falling asleep on me I might be able to sleep on my left. Can’t do that. So I try “The Pillow”. Yes the wonderful hubby got me “The Pillow”.

You know those pillows. The picture on the bag always shows a lovely pregnant women sleeping soundly and hold her pillow like it’s Johnny Depp next to her in bed. Well my pillow and I have a love hate relationship going on. I love the idea of it, but most the time we end up in a wrestling match. First of all it is about 5 feet long…it’s hence earned the nickname the Beast. I put a snuggly brown cover on it too – so it’s almost like the Beast has fur, which feels lovely but is very warm. I start out holding the Beast and putting him (I assume it’s a him?) between my knees just like the picture. But somehow I wake up and the beast has mysteriously jumped out of the bed and onto the floor. Or the beast has left me and is now lying with my snoozing husband (who looks more like the peaceful picture on the bag than I ever will). I grab the Beast back and attempt to try again. But most of the time it feels like the Beast is fighting me in the middle of the night. Considering we’re fairly close to the same size lying down, it takes me a few minutes of wrestling the Beast to get him back into position to try again. It’s exhausting, but not exhausting enough to make me sleep of course. Noooo, normally by the time I’m back into the peaceful sleeping pregnant lady position I am wide awake. I wish I could strangle the Beast for making me so awake because of our WWE session. UGH.

If it’s not the Beast, it most surely is my undying thirst combined my prune size bladder. Now this is just a mean trick God plays on us pregnant women. I mean I never ever been as thirsty as I am these days. All the time I am thirsty. Even at night. I take my vitamins at night before bed – and drink a full glass of water to make sure I digest them well. And then thirty minutes later that water is ready to come out. So I waddle to the bathroom in the dark trying not to open my eyes so I can somehow semi stay asleep and pee. But of course on my way back to bed I am thirsty again. So I drink more water, go back to bed, wrestle the beast, lay there awake, finally fall asleep, and then wake up to pee again. Over and Over and Over.

Now some may say, Nicole why don’t you try not to drink as much water before you go to bed and therefore maybe you won’t wake up as soon? Well my friends I tried this the other night, here is that humbling tale: I of course have a 15 minute routine to get to sleep (face wash, teeth brushed, lotioned up, vitamins, water etc…). That night I take my vitamins with just a little water and jump into bed with Jason, Jersey and the Beast. About 20 minutes later a wave, rather a tsunami of nausea hits me. I RUN to the bathroom and barely make it before I begin to throw up. Think that sucks? Well here’s the really fun part: Each time my stomach contracts to get substance up I pee a little. I can’t control it. I know it’s happening but I can’t stop puking and I can’t stop peeing. Finally my stomach is empty and unfortunately so is my bladder. I stand up and sure enough I am a 25 year old woman who just peed my her pants like a 4 year old (never mind, my 4 year old nephew Luke has better bladder control than that). I pathetically look at Jason and he just laughs with me. Yes, I was laughing. It was either laugh or cry and the latter sounded less fun. After all, how many times have you seen a sober 25 year old pee their pants? UGH.

Oh Pregnancy such a J.O.Y you are.

I MISS sleep.

Half Way There !!

So it’s official…Giselle and I have made it half way! This is truly something worth celebrating…which we did by shopping for her nursery! Mom came over Friday (she played hooky - love when she does that!) and we went to Pottery Barn Kids and got Giselle’s bed sheet, an adorable blanket and some other goodies. And then we painted her room.

Thank God for my Mom! Jason doesn’t paint, he’ll do almost anything around the house but painting is most definitely not his forte. So Mom came over and prepped the room and did the top of the walls, while Giselle and I scooted along the bottom on my rear and got the bottoms. Everything met in the middle and it turned out perfect. I love the color, I describe it Spring Green however if you are familiar with Pottery Barn Kids then you will also know it as Pottery Barn Kid’s Green.

After we went to Bergstroms and guess what? – They were having a sale….oooh lala. So I bought her bassinet. And then I got up this morning and stared at it and thought “wow this little butterfly in my tummy is going to be sleeping in here in less than 5 months”. C-R-A-Z-Y.

Giselle is fluttering around often these days and is starting to give me stronger kicks and jabs. Ones that I’m sure will turn into “Owws” but for now are simply “Awws”. Jason is very jealous he can’t feel her yet so I’m hoping soon he will get to feel a foot or elbow to the palm of his hand. She must be growing too because my belly is definitely “out there”.

Speaking of Daddy’s hand...how cute is this poem that I am giving Jason for Father’s Day this year (no I did not write it):

Daddy, Take my hand in yours and you will plainly see,
How very much I need you now to love and care for me.
As my little hand grows, I will need you even more,
Everything I do in life, I have never done before.
Teach me to be kind and loving, sharing and forgiving,
Show me through your acts of love the pure joy of living.
The years will pass by quickly and one day I will be grown,
I will pass what you have taught me onto children of my own.
Hold me always in your thoughts and remember when we are apart,
The special love between a child and a daddy's heart.

It's a ...

GIRL!!

We had our anatomy ultrasound on March 5th and found out much to our surprise that we're having a baby girl! Everyone (including myself and Jason) thought for sure it was a little boy, so to hear girl was a shock. I of course am still jumping for joy, Jason is struggling on thinking about "baby" and not about a 15 year old. He is nervous for bras, boyfriends, and periods already lol.

Her name is Giselle Brooke Caldwell, which we decided on together and then told everyone. Of course people still find the need to throw in their 2 cents. "How about Maggie?" (umm NO, we're not Homer and Marg) "Are you sure that's the name?" (We just told you that's the name right?, Did I stutter?)etc etc... But for the most part everyone agrees with us that it is beautiful, like she is sure to be.

My biggest fear now is that I will go back for my next ultrasound (3/19) and they will change their mind and tell me it is really a boy! I pray that they were right the first time...because I am so into girl planning that my head might very well fall off if I have to spin it in the other direction.

Giselle is growing amazingly, and all her scans have come back great. I am also starting to feel her in the morning, I call her my tiny dancer because she flutters around alot when I'm waking up. She might just be a morning person like her mommy always was growing up.

As for me and my changes, my ass has grown and my thighs are steadily catching up! - Oh joy. In fact last night I got out of the shower and saw my backside from the mirror and couldn't help but wonder who the large wet naked lady was and how she snuck into my room :/. I told Jason that summer needs to not come at all this year because there is no way I am bringing these bad boys (my thighs) out into the public in shorts! UGH. But everyone tells me that is the price of pregnancy and that it will go away after that little girl comes out. I guess I'll just have to deal in the meantime.

I'll check back with y'all after the 19th to make sure Giselle is still a she :)

P.S.The picture is from her 17 week scan, and it clearly shows I am getting pay back from sucking my thumb for all those years.