Half Way There !!

So it’s official…Giselle and I have made it half way! This is truly something worth celebrating…which we did by shopping for her nursery! Mom came over Friday (she played hooky - love when she does that!) and we went to Pottery Barn Kids and got Giselle’s bed sheet, an adorable blanket and some other goodies. And then we painted her room.

Thank God for my Mom! Jason doesn’t paint, he’ll do almost anything around the house but painting is most definitely not his forte. So Mom came over and prepped the room and did the top of the walls, while Giselle and I scooted along the bottom on my rear and got the bottoms. Everything met in the middle and it turned out perfect. I love the color, I describe it Spring Green however if you are familiar with Pottery Barn Kids then you will also know it as Pottery Barn Kid’s Green.

After we went to Bergstroms and guess what? – They were having a sale….oooh lala. So I bought her bassinet. And then I got up this morning and stared at it and thought “wow this little butterfly in my tummy is going to be sleeping in here in less than 5 months”. C-R-A-Z-Y.

Giselle is fluttering around often these days and is starting to give me stronger kicks and jabs. Ones that I’m sure will turn into “Owws” but for now are simply “Awws”. Jason is very jealous he can’t feel her yet so I’m hoping soon he will get to feel a foot or elbow to the palm of his hand. She must be growing too because my belly is definitely “out there”.

Speaking of Daddy’s hand...how cute is this poem that I am giving Jason for Father’s Day this year (no I did not write it):

Daddy, Take my hand in yours and you will plainly see,
How very much I need you now to love and care for me.
As my little hand grows, I will need you even more,
Everything I do in life, I have never done before.
Teach me to be kind and loving, sharing and forgiving,
Show me through your acts of love the pure joy of living.
The years will pass by quickly and one day I will be grown,
I will pass what you have taught me onto children of my own.
Hold me always in your thoughts and remember when we are apart,
The special love between a child and a daddy's heart.

It's a ...

GIRL!!

We had our anatomy ultrasound on March 5th and found out much to our surprise that we're having a baby girl! Everyone (including myself and Jason) thought for sure it was a little boy, so to hear girl was a shock. I of course am still jumping for joy, Jason is struggling on thinking about "baby" and not about a 15 year old. He is nervous for bras, boyfriends, and periods already lol.

Her name is Giselle Brooke Caldwell, which we decided on together and then told everyone. Of course people still find the need to throw in their 2 cents. "How about Maggie?" (umm NO, we're not Homer and Marg) "Are you sure that's the name?" (We just told you that's the name right?, Did I stutter?)etc etc... But for the most part everyone agrees with us that it is beautiful, like she is sure to be.

My biggest fear now is that I will go back for my next ultrasound (3/19) and they will change their mind and tell me it is really a boy! I pray that they were right the first time...because I am so into girl planning that my head might very well fall off if I have to spin it in the other direction.

Giselle is growing amazingly, and all her scans have come back great. I am also starting to feel her in the morning, I call her my tiny dancer because she flutters around alot when I'm waking up. She might just be a morning person like her mommy always was growing up.

As for me and my changes, my ass has grown and my thighs are steadily catching up! - Oh joy. In fact last night I got out of the shower and saw my backside from the mirror and couldn't help but wonder who the large wet naked lady was and how she snuck into my room :/. I told Jason that summer needs to not come at all this year because there is no way I am bringing these bad boys (my thighs) out into the public in shorts! UGH. But everyone tells me that is the price of pregnancy and that it will go away after that little girl comes out. I guess I'll just have to deal in the meantime.

I'll check back with y'all after the 19th to make sure Giselle is still a she :)

P.S.The picture is from her 17 week scan, and it clearly shows I am getting pay back from sucking my thumb for all those years.

13 weeks

So I got my first new bra….it’s a 38E?!!! E!!! Holy hell. I don’t even know what to do with these things anymore. I hate them.

Also got some neat “maternity” pants. Complete with elastic panel in the front and all. Let me tell you – these are the most comfortable pants ever! Makes me wonder why everyone doesn’t just wear the elastic waist bands. I may never return to the zipper fly again . And they don’t even look bad, I even have a pair of Seven maternity jeans – that should give me some stylish Mom points right? Either way, they look better than trying to squeeze my disappearing waist into pants that are too small.

However, my high heels and I are slowing starting to part ways. This is proving to be difficult for me – I have over 90 pairs of heels alone that I adore. My feet on the other hand do not adore them anymore and I am constantly afraid I will fall. I am not willing to harm my baby in the name of fashion!

We are now into our second trimester – Whoo Hoo! I am getting less patient about finding out the sex by the day. But let me tell you everyone has an opinion. My bookkeeper at work is sure it is a girl because I crave fruit, and a neighbor thinks it’s a boy for sure because I didn’t have a lot of morning sickness. I don’t care either way (ok, that’s a lie – I want a girl) BUT I will be happy with either. I just need to know. The suspense is awful. I should know in March, so I will try and be patient until then.

Oh and my dreams – they are awful most of the time too! Just the other night I had a dream that my doctor told me that my baby’s ear will most likely explode when it’s born. So I was mentally preparing to have a child with one ear. Talk about a bad nights sleep! I have all kinds of awful paranoid dreams these days. I sure hope the next 6 months aren’t like this.

I vow...

The other day a Dad and his young child sat at my desk. The whole time the child relentlessly jammed his finger up his nose. I could not stop watching the gross-ness, and I know the Dad had to have known that his son was indeed a booger picker. And right there I thought to the little baby in my stomach "I promise I will never let you be that kid".

Which inspired me to draft a list of vows to my little one. I mean, I did it for my husband who actually agreed to marry me, this little child didn't ask to be brought into the world so I feel it's my duty to reassure him/her.

I vow:
To never let you have that trail of snot that drips all the way from your nostril into the side of your mouth. I will teach you the use of tissue at a young age.

In the summer to always have a bathing suit or "little swimmers" diapers with me so you won't have to be "that kid" in the pool or at the beach in it's underwear or soggy sand filled Pamper. Or even worse the naked awkward kid.

To wipe the Kloo Aid moustache off before it stains your lip.

To dress you according to the temperature, you will not be barefoot in the grocery store at 5 months old when it's January. And you will not be wearing a beanie just because it's "so cute" in July.

To not make you take those over photoshopped pictures of you looking like a angel with a halo and wings, flying through the clouds. (No offense to those of you that have, but they freak me out)

To not try and make you kid genius. I won't force you to memorize the 50 states and capitals at 2 years old.

To not send you out of the house looking like a mess. Yes there will be times you'll get to be in grungy mis-matched clothes to play in the yard or mud or what not. But I won't let you go to school with a dirty plaid shirt and striped socks.

That if you are a girl I won't pull your hair so tight that it makes your scalp hurt just to have the perfect pig tails or pony tail. And if you are a boy I will give you a hair cut when it is time, I won't make you look silly with extra long hair just because I don't want to cut off your "baby locks".

That I will let you discover food and get dirty with spaghetti and cupcakes.

To not let total strangers touch you, especially at places like Target or the Swap Meet.


I'm sure there is much more I could think of to promise you my Little Sprout but we'll save that for another day!

<3,
Cole

The first symptoms

So after I took the test that gave me my positive sign I went out and got a different brand of tests just to be sure, and once I cleared that entire pack I had successfully peed myself into believing that indeed I was expecting.

Then I did what everything other mom to be does, I went out and bought the most in depth book possible. "Pregnancy Day by Day" was my choice (Color photos get me every time!). As soon as I read what the early pregnancy symptoms normally were I felt them. It was like the words jumped off the pages and begin to enter my body. These are my personal early symtoms:

"Hi Honey, how was your ...zzzzzzzzz"
Have you ever taken codine cough syrup,the kind the doctor prescribes you when you're sick? The kind that you take and 6 hours later you wake up with the sofa pillow design imprinted in your cheeks, the tv on infomercials at 4:00am, and you're still in your jeans and tennis shoes? That's what first trimester sleepiness feels like. I swear, I will be in the middle of a conversation with Jason on the couch at 6:30 at night and the next thing I know I am about to rip his arm off and beat him with it for waking me up (even if it was at midnight and he was telling me to go to bed). When it hits you it hits hard like cough syrup. And the most fabulous thing about it? - nothing makes it better but a nap. Which is great if you get to be home all the time. But sadly I work full time. I have found myself staring out into space for long periods of time normally around 1:00pm-4:00pm, or wondering if I crawled under my desk if anyone would really know. I try to now divide my hour lunch into 30 minutes to eat and 30 to sleep, but really what kind of nap is only 30 minutes? I'll tell you what kind, the kind that leaves you more tired then you were before you laid down. I've tried to get up and walk around, get some fresh air, have a snack and to no avail it always leaves me dead on my feet. I hear your second trimester you regain energy - and I anxiously await for that day.

"I know they are huge, but if you touch them I will kill you!"
First to all my lovely friends that are thinking of getting implants: wait until after you are done having kids! I began this process a size D (thank you Dr. Benvenuti). I have already gone up a full cup size to DD, and it is getting snug in there. Holy Shit I'm only 9 weeks. I don't even have milk yet. What in the hell am I suppose to do when I pass the DD, go to E - which I assume stands for ENORMOUS?? And after that an F for F*&@ing RIDICULOUS?? What the heck does an E bra look like anyways and where do you buy one? Our friend Joe laughs at this and says I'm going to have to make one out of tent tarps or potato sacks. Actually I have very vivid memories of going to Mervyns with my mom when I was little and watching ladies with what I thought were gigantic boobs buy even more gigantic bras that have padded straps 3 inches wide and were always made of some god awful lavender or beige lace with a little fake pearl cluster in the middle. Gag.

Granted some women might think this new increased breast size is great, but again it's not just the size that changes. You begin to see little veins show under your poor stretched skin. So your new big boobs you think you'll love so much start to look like Thomas Guides. I imagine my tan friends might not have this problem as much (Darlene??) but sadly my fair skin does. I hear it only gets better too, my Pregnancy Day by Day book actually shows a women topless throughout the course of her pregnancy (bless her brave soul for those photos...not in a million years would I!) so you get to see her nipples change too. You start off small and perky and end up looking like a women you'd see on National Geographic - grrrrrrreat. Can't frickin wait.

And as typical men do, they don't even notice anything but the size of them. Jason is astonished like a kid watching a bug on the sidewalk, part of him wants to touch them but the other part of him is scared. And rightfully so. You think I was harsh when I said I want to rip his arm off when he wakes me up - I really will if he even tries to touch these new mystery boobs I have. Because they hurt like all hell!

"I would kill for a steak right now" *10 minutes later* "nevermind"
This is so annoying! Not that I have many cravings, I think that comes later, but if I do want something and I am starving half the time I get it and then all of a sudden I'm not hungry anymore? What the heck is this about? This was not in my Pregnancy Day by Day book (I should write the author!). It's the strangest thing. Example the other day we were going to dinner with friends (Hi Jill!) and I really wanted our favorite teppan restaurant, Matsu. We got there and I was super hungry. They prepared our food in front of us (Benihana style) and by the time they put it on my plate I had a $30 fillet that just sat there. My hunger just disappeared. It didn't come back either. What is this about? - Anyone else have this?

Thankfully I haven't had nausea too bad...except last week (yuck). For me whenever I don't feel so hot it's not morning sickness either, it's night sickness. Right before bed sometimes I feel slightly nauseous but thankfully this is not everyday (knock on wood).

All this and I'm bloated too, my fingers are swollen and my pant buttons are starting to not want to be closed. Which is fine I just wear long shirts and cover it up :). I guess this is when you just look and feel fat not pregnant. Oh the joy.

More to come later!

<3, Cole

The beginning: "I'm what...?"

My first blog ever!
May my pregnancy journey inspire those of you trying, be a piece of nostalgia to those of you that have, reaffirm those of you that think "no way" or just overall entertain some small part of you.

Let's get the obligatory "about me" section over with real quick: I'm Nicole, 25, a newlywed...oh and apparently I am also part super hero because, you see I am growing a person in my belly ! My husband and I have been together for over 5 years and got married August 29, 2009. We have always known we wanted children and much to our excitement found out I was pregnant December 3rd.

The morning of December 3rd found me making eggs in the kitchen for our first baby (our 1yr old French Bulldog) Jersey and myself. The night before we had gone out with friends drinking and playing darts, so my head and I were having a minor disagreement about getting up and staying in bed. My doctor had told me to take a pregnancy test, and I was going to see her soon so as the good patient that I am I thought I better take it now. Trusty stick in hand I was off to the bathroom. Minutes passed and I was eating my eggs with Jersey when I thought I better go check that stick. Sure enough there were 2 blue lines. Immediately I chalked the result up to blurry vision - I must be seeing double (remember I was drinking the night before) I rubbed my eyes and re-evaluated. There were still 2 lines.

First person I called? - my sister (sorry babe!). For anyone that doesn't know my sister she is one of many in the long line of Super Moms my family has. She has 2 beautiful boys (Lukas 4, and Jordan almost 2). She congratulated me I think - to be honest I can't remember my head was spinning with thoughts and questions and concerns (and probably some of that left over drinking again). Got off the phone with my sister and called, who else? - My Mom, another Super Mom (sorry babe - again!). After talking with Mom I then called Jason. Of course I thought about fun ways to surprise him, I thought about getting pink and blue balloons for the house, or buying little baby socks and wrapping them ... a million ways crossed my mind. But of course I was the child that ruined many a Christmas for my sister by telling her all her gifts ahead of time because I peaked at all our presents each year. I have never been good at keeping secrets or surprises so my big mouth just dialed and blurted out "I'm pregnant".

The next few weeks I was afraid to sneeze, to hiccup, to cough to do anything! I was terrified that I was going to go to the doctors and they were going to tell me that there was nothing there. Our first ultrasound was December 24, Christmas Eve.

Because I wasn't far along I had to have a vaginal ultrasound (too much information?, sorry but it's all a lovely part of the "experience"). The tech brought out the 'magic wand' that was going to be put inside me to see the baby, she wanted me to see what I should expect...and oh my god it was huge! I don't know whose eyes were bigger mine or Jason's. It looked liked one of those 'things' you see in the back of 'those stores' that is behind a curtain that says "18 years or older only". I was literally 2 seconds away from putting my pants on and running out that door. Thankfully the whole huge wand is not used and only a small part of it. I'm convinced they make them that big just to watch the husbands look horrified and feel inadequate.

But then all of a sudden there it was, our baby's heartbeat. It was flickering feverishly in all it's black and white glory on the ultrasound monitor. Of course I began to tear up. I didn't want her to move that massive wand for the life of me, I think I could have watched it all day. She showed us our baby, which looked like a little Teddy Graham Cracker / blob in my belly. It was the cutest little blob I have ever seen and automatically I was a proud mother. It was love.

We found out we were 6 weeks along and Due August 15th. Now I am 9 1/2 weeks along and just beginning this wild/crazy/fun/emotional/stressful/hungry journey. I have an amazing support team of family and friends and can't wait to share my experience with everyone that is brave enough to want to hear it