Mommyhood

Well I have severely neglected this blog lately! Sorry but there is a new little addition to my life the requires, scratch that - demands my time! Giselle Brooke Caldwell was born 11 days early on 8/4/10 at 7:49am, weighing in at 7.5 lbs and 19 inches long. The short story of my labor: 8/3/10 my water broke, went to hospital began pitocin, epidural did not work so I was in a lot of pain, pushed for close to 2 miserable hours and she was born completely healthy.

Were currently in week 5 of mommyhood. So far she's gaining weight, eating, sleeping, peeing and pooping, therefore I believe I am doing something right. As I type this she is sleeping next to me, and she just farted...loud. First reaction from me? - "Phew!, at least it wasn't a juicy one." This is now my life. Judging the sounds of farts, wearing pads in my bras, spit up in my hair and juggling my whole day around her every 2 hour feedings. Is it wonderful? Yes. Is it hard? Yes. Have I cried and screamed and thought what the hell did I get myself into? You betcha!

Week 1 was bliss, my new beautiful baby just slept and ate. Hardly made noise and could be put down for a nap anywhere at any time. Then she woke up. Thus began our journey of learning each other. I needed her to teach me what she needed, and she needed me to figure it out quick!

I remember a night in our 3rd week where she was up screaming all night, making sleep impossible for her and myself. My husband was finally leaving for work around 6:00am (lucky bastard! Yes, I was actually jealous he got to go to work) and looked at me holding our baby, while both baby and I were crying and he said "You want to give her back?". ***sigh*** Mommyhood is hard. Very hard. You do want to give them back at times - even if you don't admit it. You want someone to just take them so the screaming will stop. You want your old life back. Your old body back. You want to sleep for hours. You want it all to just stop....and then? And then your baby looks in your eyes and smiles and you forget all your troubles. You melt into a pool of love. And you realize somehow this chaos is exactly where you want to be. Even if that smile was just a gas pain, you need to believe it was meant for you.

I've also learned to be victorious. Be proud and pat myself on the back. You know those beer commercials where they reward absolute foolish behavior? EX: "Here's to you Mister Overly Aggressive Flag Football Player..." I do that all day long!

Here's some of my awarded titles:
Here's to You Mommy that can catch a pacifier in the air in the split second it leaves her mouth before hitting the ground. You channel your inner Neo from the matrix like nobody would believe!

Here's to you Mommy that can change a diaper at 4:30a.m. with one eye open and some how get all the poop off from her back to her belly without waking the baby completely up. Your sleep working would make a zombie jealous.

Here's to you Mommy that can make a homemade meal one handed while rocking the baby to sleep. Your inner Emmerl is shining even if you don't yell "bam!" in fear of waking her.

Here's to you Mommy that can breastfeed, pet the dog with your foot and text all at the same time. You may not be 3 people but you do just as much!

The awards go on. But seriously, each day she goes to sleep healthy I give myself an A for the day.


We're currently breast feeding without any other supplements. Lucky me, these boobs were meant for feeding. I know many women who have struggled and been defeated by breast feeding but not me! I thankfully haven't had any problems thus far (knock on wood). No chapped or bleeding or cracked nipples - thank God! And Giselle is a champ too, she latched on right out of the belly and loves nothing more than a little boobie in her life. I hope to continue to be able to provide for her for at least 6 months. I also think taking the breast feeding class at Hoag hospital and listening to the nurses helped me tons. It's all about the latch ladies!

She's up every 2 - 3 hours at night currently, but most of the time goes right back to sleep after feeding for about 20 minutes. She's approximately 10lbs and starting to grow out of her newborn clothes (pouty face). She loves sleeping on her belly, but only does so when mommy is supervising. She's a strong little peanut, raising her head more and more each day and grasps fingers with all her might!

Jason and I are a good team. We try and laugh when all else fails, crying is no fun anyways! We give each other breaks when we need it and try to remember to take some time for ourselves. We celebrated our first wedding anniversary sans baby at the Reef on August 29th and even got out for a couple cocktails without her last weekend (Thanks Auntie Jenn and Grandma for babysitting). We've only threatened to take her to the fire station a couple times. ;)

This is by far the biggest challenge I have taken on. I look forward to all the ups, and fear the downs but will do my best to embrace it all. All and all I am blessed to be the proud, frazzled, neurotic, mother of a gorgeous baby girl <3