The other day a Dad and his young child sat at my desk. The whole time the child relentlessly jammed his finger up his nose. I could not stop watching the gross-ness, and I know the Dad had to have known that his son was indeed a booger picker. And right there I thought to the little baby in my stomach "I promise I will never let you be that kid".
Which inspired me to draft a list of vows to my little one. I mean, I did it for my husband who actually agreed to marry me, this little child didn't ask to be brought into the world so I feel it's my duty to reassure him/her.
I vow:
To never let you have that trail of snot that drips all the way from your nostril into the side of your mouth. I will teach you the use of tissue at a young age.
In the summer to always have a bathing suit or "little swimmers" diapers with me so you won't have to be "that kid" in the pool or at the beach in it's underwear or soggy sand filled Pamper. Or even worse the naked awkward kid.
To wipe the Kloo Aid moustache off before it stains your lip.
To dress you according to the temperature, you will not be barefoot in the grocery store at 5 months old when it's January. And you will not be wearing a beanie just because it's "so cute" in July.
To not make you take those over photoshopped pictures of you looking like a angel with a halo and wings, flying through the clouds. (No offense to those of you that have, but they freak me out)
To not try and make you kid genius. I won't force you to memorize the 50 states and capitals at 2 years old.
To not send you out of the house looking like a mess. Yes there will be times you'll get to be in grungy mis-matched clothes to play in the yard or mud or what not. But I won't let you go to school with a dirty plaid shirt and striped socks.
That if you are a girl I won't pull your hair so tight that it makes your scalp hurt just to have the perfect pig tails or pony tail. And if you are a boy I will give you a hair cut when it is time, I won't make you look silly with extra long hair just because I don't want to cut off your "baby locks".
That I will let you discover food and get dirty with spaghetti and cupcakes.
To not let total strangers touch you, especially at places like Target or the Swap Meet.
I'm sure there is much more I could think of to promise you my Little Sprout but we'll save that for another day!
<3,
Cole
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
The first symptoms
So after I took the test that gave me my positive sign I went out and got a different brand of tests just to be sure, and once I cleared that entire pack I had successfully peed myself into believing that indeed I was expecting.
Then I did what everything other mom to be does, I went out and bought the most in depth book possible. "Pregnancy Day by Day" was my choice (Color photos get me every time!). As soon as I read what the early pregnancy symptoms normally were I felt them. It was like the words jumped off the pages and begin to enter my body. These are my personal early symtoms:
"Hi Honey, how was your ...zzzzzzzzz"
Have you ever taken codine cough syrup,the kind the doctor prescribes you when you're sick? The kind that you take and 6 hours later you wake up with the sofa pillow design imprinted in your cheeks, the tv on infomercials at 4:00am, and you're still in your jeans and tennis shoes? That's what first trimester sleepiness feels like. I swear, I will be in the middle of a conversation with Jason on the couch at 6:30 at night and the next thing I know I am about to rip his arm off and beat him with it for waking me up (even if it was at midnight and he was telling me to go to bed). When it hits you it hits hard like cough syrup. And the most fabulous thing about it? - nothing makes it better but a nap. Which is great if you get to be home all the time. But sadly I work full time. I have found myself staring out into space for long periods of time normally around 1:00pm-4:00pm, or wondering if I crawled under my desk if anyone would really know. I try to now divide my hour lunch into 30 minutes to eat and 30 to sleep, but really what kind of nap is only 30 minutes? I'll tell you what kind, the kind that leaves you more tired then you were before you laid down. I've tried to get up and walk around, get some fresh air, have a snack and to no avail it always leaves me dead on my feet. I hear your second trimester you regain energy - and I anxiously await for that day.
"I know they are huge, but if you touch them I will kill you!"
First to all my lovely friends that are thinking of getting implants: wait until after you are done having kids! I began this process a size D (thank you Dr. Benvenuti). I have already gone up a full cup size to DD, and it is getting snug in there. Holy Shit I'm only 9 weeks. I don't even have milk yet. What in the hell am I suppose to do when I pass the DD, go to E - which I assume stands for ENORMOUS?? And after that an F for F*&@ing RIDICULOUS?? What the heck does an E bra look like anyways and where do you buy one? Our friend Joe laughs at this and says I'm going to have to make one out of tent tarps or potato sacks. Actually I have very vivid memories of going to Mervyns with my mom when I was little and watching ladies with what I thought were gigantic boobs buy even more gigantic bras that have padded straps 3 inches wide and were always made of some god awful lavender or beige lace with a little fake pearl cluster in the middle. Gag.
Granted some women might think this new increased breast size is great, but again it's not just the size that changes. You begin to see little veins show under your poor stretched skin. So your new big boobs you think you'll love so much start to look like Thomas Guides. I imagine my tan friends might not have this problem as much (Darlene??) but sadly my fair skin does. I hear it only gets better too, my Pregnancy Day by Day book actually shows a women topless throughout the course of her pregnancy (bless her brave soul for those photos...not in a million years would I!) so you get to see her nipples change too. You start off small and perky and end up looking like a women you'd see on National Geographic - grrrrrrreat. Can't frickin wait.
And as typical men do, they don't even notice anything but the size of them. Jason is astonished like a kid watching a bug on the sidewalk, part of him wants to touch them but the other part of him is scared. And rightfully so. You think I was harsh when I said I want to rip his arm off when he wakes me up - I really will if he even tries to touch these new mystery boobs I have. Because they hurt like all hell!
"I would kill for a steak right now" *10 minutes later* "nevermind"
This is so annoying! Not that I have many cravings, I think that comes later, but if I do want something and I am starving half the time I get it and then all of a sudden I'm not hungry anymore? What the heck is this about? This was not in my Pregnancy Day by Day book (I should write the author!). It's the strangest thing. Example the other day we were going to dinner with friends (Hi Jill!) and I really wanted our favorite teppan restaurant, Matsu. We got there and I was super hungry. They prepared our food in front of us (Benihana style) and by the time they put it on my plate I had a $30 fillet that just sat there. My hunger just disappeared. It didn't come back either. What is this about? - Anyone else have this?
Thankfully I haven't had nausea too bad...except last week (yuck). For me whenever I don't feel so hot it's not morning sickness either, it's night sickness. Right before bed sometimes I feel slightly nauseous but thankfully this is not everyday (knock on wood).
All this and I'm bloated too, my fingers are swollen and my pant buttons are starting to not want to be closed. Which is fine I just wear long shirts and cover it up :). I guess this is when you just look and feel fat not pregnant. Oh the joy.
More to come later!
<3, Cole
Then I did what everything other mom to be does, I went out and bought the most in depth book possible. "Pregnancy Day by Day" was my choice (Color photos get me every time!). As soon as I read what the early pregnancy symptoms normally were I felt them. It was like the words jumped off the pages and begin to enter my body. These are my personal early symtoms:
"Hi Honey, how was your ...zzzzzzzzz"
Have you ever taken codine cough syrup,the kind the doctor prescribes you when you're sick? The kind that you take and 6 hours later you wake up with the sofa pillow design imprinted in your cheeks, the tv on infomercials at 4:00am, and you're still in your jeans and tennis shoes? That's what first trimester sleepiness feels like. I swear, I will be in the middle of a conversation with Jason on the couch at 6:30 at night and the next thing I know I am about to rip his arm off and beat him with it for waking me up (even if it was at midnight and he was telling me to go to bed). When it hits you it hits hard like cough syrup. And the most fabulous thing about it? - nothing makes it better but a nap. Which is great if you get to be home all the time. But sadly I work full time. I have found myself staring out into space for long periods of time normally around 1:00pm-4:00pm, or wondering if I crawled under my desk if anyone would really know. I try to now divide my hour lunch into 30 minutes to eat and 30 to sleep, but really what kind of nap is only 30 minutes? I'll tell you what kind, the kind that leaves you more tired then you were before you laid down. I've tried to get up and walk around, get some fresh air, have a snack and to no avail it always leaves me dead on my feet. I hear your second trimester you regain energy - and I anxiously await for that day.
"I know they are huge, but if you touch them I will kill you!"
First to all my lovely friends that are thinking of getting implants: wait until after you are done having kids! I began this process a size D (thank you Dr. Benvenuti). I have already gone up a full cup size to DD, and it is getting snug in there. Holy Shit I'm only 9 weeks. I don't even have milk yet. What in the hell am I suppose to do when I pass the DD, go to E - which I assume stands for ENORMOUS?? And after that an F for F*&@ing RIDICULOUS?? What the heck does an E bra look like anyways and where do you buy one? Our friend Joe laughs at this and says I'm going to have to make one out of tent tarps or potato sacks. Actually I have very vivid memories of going to Mervyns with my mom when I was little and watching ladies with what I thought were gigantic boobs buy even more gigantic bras that have padded straps 3 inches wide and were always made of some god awful lavender or beige lace with a little fake pearl cluster in the middle. Gag.
Granted some women might think this new increased breast size is great, but again it's not just the size that changes. You begin to see little veins show under your poor stretched skin. So your new big boobs you think you'll love so much start to look like Thomas Guides. I imagine my tan friends might not have this problem as much (Darlene??) but sadly my fair skin does. I hear it only gets better too, my Pregnancy Day by Day book actually shows a women topless throughout the course of her pregnancy (bless her brave soul for those photos...not in a million years would I!) so you get to see her nipples change too. You start off small and perky and end up looking like a women you'd see on National Geographic - grrrrrrreat. Can't frickin wait.
And as typical men do, they don't even notice anything but the size of them. Jason is astonished like a kid watching a bug on the sidewalk, part of him wants to touch them but the other part of him is scared. And rightfully so. You think I was harsh when I said I want to rip his arm off when he wakes me up - I really will if he even tries to touch these new mystery boobs I have. Because they hurt like all hell!
"I would kill for a steak right now" *10 minutes later* "nevermind"
This is so annoying! Not that I have many cravings, I think that comes later, but if I do want something and I am starving half the time I get it and then all of a sudden I'm not hungry anymore? What the heck is this about? This was not in my Pregnancy Day by Day book (I should write the author!). It's the strangest thing. Example the other day we were going to dinner with friends (Hi Jill!) and I really wanted our favorite teppan restaurant, Matsu. We got there and I was super hungry. They prepared our food in front of us (Benihana style) and by the time they put it on my plate I had a $30 fillet that just sat there. My hunger just disappeared. It didn't come back either. What is this about? - Anyone else have this?
Thankfully I haven't had nausea too bad...except last week (yuck). For me whenever I don't feel so hot it's not morning sickness either, it's night sickness. Right before bed sometimes I feel slightly nauseous but thankfully this is not everyday (knock on wood).
All this and I'm bloated too, my fingers are swollen and my pant buttons are starting to not want to be closed. Which is fine I just wear long shirts and cover it up :). I guess this is when you just look and feel fat not pregnant. Oh the joy.
More to come later!
<3, Cole
The beginning: "I'm what...?"
My first blog ever!
May my pregnancy journey inspire those of you trying, be a piece of nostalgia to those of you that have, reaffirm those of you that think "no way" or just overall entertain some small part of you.
Let's get the obligatory "about me" section over with real quick: I'm Nicole, 25, a newlywed...oh and apparently I am also part super hero because, you see I am growing a person in my belly ! My husband and I have been together for over 5 years and got married August 29, 2009. We have always known we wanted children and much to our excitement found out I was pregnant December 3rd.
The morning of December 3rd found me making eggs in the kitchen for our first baby (our 1yr old French Bulldog) Jersey and myself. The night before we had gone out with friends drinking and playing darts, so my head and I were having a minor disagreement about getting up and staying in bed. My doctor had told me to take a pregnancy test, and I was going to see her soon so as the good patient that I am I thought I better take it now. Trusty stick in hand I was off to the bathroom. Minutes passed and I was eating my eggs with Jersey when I thought I better go check that stick. Sure enough there were 2 blue lines. Immediately I chalked the result up to blurry vision - I must be seeing double (remember I was drinking the night before) I rubbed my eyes and re-evaluated. There were still 2 lines.
First person I called? - my sister (sorry babe!). For anyone that doesn't know my sister she is one of many in the long line of Super Moms my family has. She has 2 beautiful boys (Lukas 4, and Jordan almost 2). She congratulated me I think - to be honest I can't remember my head was spinning with thoughts and questions and concerns (and probably some of that left over drinking again). Got off the phone with my sister and called, who else? - My Mom, another Super Mom (sorry babe - again!). After talking with Mom I then called Jason. Of course I thought about fun ways to surprise him, I thought about getting pink and blue balloons for the house, or buying little baby socks and wrapping them ... a million ways crossed my mind. But of course I was the child that ruined many a Christmas for my sister by telling her all her gifts ahead of time because I peaked at all our presents each year. I have never been good at keeping secrets or surprises so my big mouth just dialed and blurted out "I'm pregnant".
The next few weeks I was afraid to sneeze, to hiccup, to cough to do anything! I was terrified that I was going to go to the doctors and they were going to tell me that there was nothing there. Our first ultrasound was December 24, Christmas Eve.
Because I wasn't far along I had to have a vaginal ultrasound (too much information?, sorry but it's all a lovely part of the "experience"). The tech brought out the 'magic wand' that was going to be put inside me to see the baby, she wanted me to see what I should expect...and oh my god it was huge! I don't know whose eyes were bigger mine or Jason's. It looked liked one of those 'things' you see in the back of 'those stores' that is behind a curtain that says "18 years or older only". I was literally 2 seconds away from putting my pants on and running out that door. Thankfully the whole huge wand is not used and only a small part of it. I'm convinced they make them that big just to watch the husbands look horrified and feel inadequate.
But then all of a sudden there it was, our baby's heartbeat. It was flickering feverishly in all it's black and white glory on the ultrasound monitor. Of course I began to tear up. I didn't want her to move that massive wand for the life of me, I think I could have watched it all day. She showed us our baby, which looked like a little Teddy Graham Cracker / blob in my belly. It was the cutest little blob I have ever seen and automatically I was a proud mother. It was love.
We found out we were 6 weeks along and Due August 15th. Now I am 9 1/2 weeks along and just beginning this wild/crazy/fun/emotional/stressful/hungry journey. I have an amazing support team of family and friends and can't wait to share my experience with everyone that is brave enough to want to hear it
<3,>
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